Police Raid Cracks Hat Smuggling Ring

Yes, its jail for you, sonny jim!

Our relentless police force has pried open another sordid case of hat wearing! These foul degenerates infest the decaying underside of our great city, weakening the moral fibre of the young and tempting true and honest citizens to headgear related perversions!

But fear not! For the ever watchful eye and long arm of the law are ready and waiting, even in the darkest places of the world! Here the brave lads give the new recruits instructions in how to prevent this desperate blackguardery from threatening Ma and Pa Citizen.

The Law must always have an eye out for the surreptious exchange of cash for bowlers, beanies and bonnets. The morally bankrupt who engage in the foul practices may lurk anywhere - here we see a young girl seduced to trying a plain black hat "just once". But this is just the beginning of a life of depravity and horse racing!

Of course, when the boys in blue come bursting in, innocent and guilty bear the full brunt of the law! Hat worship is just Not On!

But these are relatively minor scams, and it is the true millinary villiany that draws the full force of the law down upon wrongdoers, neverdowells, rakehell, runagates and scoundrels! This is a photo of one of the most infamous hat smugglers in history, Bringer del Pato!

This Chapeau Chappy constantly flaunts the fine fellows fighting to free the future of furry fezes! His on-going efforts to bring down the moral fibre of society are the scandal of the modern day!

So how can you protect your loved ones from becoming bound up in a burgeoning busby bearing band? Police says that there are distinct signs of a growing wimple wearing perversion:

1. Are your loved ones start sneaking with salacious stetson wearing someones?
2. Do your nearest and dearest cavort in costumes which could conceivably by completed by a cap?
3. Even at times of celebration do they mope about, yet return home from mysterious errands wearing a smile and a strange red rim?

These tips may save your cherished children from choosing a career of crime! But you can do more! Keep your eyes open for suspicious collections of people and inform police when you see them!

Some people just won't listen to the dangers of the brainsqueezing and hair rubbing until its too late! Make sure YOUR children take up harmless habits like hookahs and fighting bears!