Travelling for hundreds of minutes, a huge crowd flocked this year to the TriAnnual MURP Goth Convention, held at the traditional location of Greyfriars Monastery, Mt Eliza. Milling at the pre-convention reception, the dull matt crowd veritably buzzed with aloof ennui.

The TriAnnual Goth Convention is fast becoming one of the most popular events on the MURP social circuit. An event for newcomers and the old and bitter alike, the Convention is a three day mope-a-rama for the jaded gotharati, beginning on the Friday evening as the attendees arrived piecemeal, slowly swamping the area with existential angst.

This year's "Perkiest Goth" winners at the MURP Goth Convention

Saturday

The day time, being an anaethema to goths of most breeds, was a quiet, calm period. The occasional early riser quietly walked the halls, interacting with reality as little as possible, while others scoped out the location for the best posing positions for the evenings' procedings.

Towards the end of the afternoon, a few small symposiums were held, including What do goths wear under their fishnets? - a comparitive study and Witty comebacks - how much preparation is required?

Once the Saturday evening meal was over, the Convention settled down into the meat of the matter. Various small workshops were held around the site, unenthusiastically attended by small collections of the shiny and lacy.

Ken Blakey, author of "Keep it simple - a guide to uniform goth clothing", gave a short talk and practical demonstration on the dangers of angst-gravity, that strange and unusual force that can sometimes cause sudden attraction on a dance floor. Kyle Lake, in addition to poetry readings held face down drooling on the concourse also gave a rapidly less coherent presentation on Is Pernot as Gothy as Absinthe?

Not every discussion group ran as smoothly however. Many complaints were voiced after the Setting Ambience seminar that despite the very effective fog and mist, the yellow lino and bright curtains of the venue detracted somewhat from the discussions. There was also an unfortunate incident involving Kate Browns's Goth Bunting - how to chain goths together with their piercings practical demonstration when the lead model became entangled with his chair.

The closing address was a dual presentation by Sarah Johnson (Leather and Burning Things Association) and Jenny Zukerman (Big Hair and Lacy Appreciation Society). They covered one of the most important, and obscure, tenets of goth society - Blooddolling. Highpoints included Ms Zukerman's in-depth discussion and demonstration of appropriate vessels at different stages of a relationship and Ms Johnson's amusing and well-researched discussion of historical sanguinal consumption, including a brief look at the techniques suggested in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

As the participants slowly moved away, the mood was funeral, promising a certain return for many when the conference is reconvened in the New Year.