O-week Astor trip

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Ladies and gentlemen, mere words cannot convey the horror that simple, peaceful folk like yourself were forced to endure this day. What began as a simple trip to the movies quickly became a nightmare of terrifying proportions.

Little did the poor folk of MURP realise that their lives were being controlled by an evil mastermind, a mad genius whose darstardly plans would shortly ensnare us all.

Through his cunning reverse psychology, Ian 'world domination' Thomas forced us to go and watch John Carpenter's Vampires. Weeks spent assuring us that it was awful, that we would hate it, had only aroused the insane desire to subject ourselves to this parody of entertainment. Smugly, he sat, awaiting the culmination of his twisted, evil plans.

The effects on the simple folk of MURP were predictable. Some were killed outright by the shock to their systems, while other mutated horribly, growing to double or more their size. These giant roleplayers then advanced on the city, killing all in their path. Nothing could stand before them, not police, not army, not cheese snacks. The evil mastermind cackled gleefully and capered madly, as his giant army of ravaging, dice-rolling freaks wreaked his revenge!