Late Breaking News
Senator Brian Harradine (Indep.) finally confessed this week to what many Australians had believed for some time - he was scared shitless of new ideas. "Basically I just can't adapt, and if I believed in it, I would probably have to say that I was simply being outevolved. Thus, my somewhat transparent attempt to return Australia to the social and political situation of the 1950's." The Liberal party declined to comment, but their coalition partners, the Nationals, firmly welcomed Senator Harradine to their ranks.
With the sudden resignation of Colin Jacobs from the positon of Preventer of the Bear Joke, it has become a sudden reality for tens of MURP members that the bear joke might actually be told. Dave Rogerson, suddenly released from the severe restrictions and trade embargos placed upon him by the Jacobs regime, has tenatively suggested that he may soon return to telling the bear joke. Preliminary recitations of the Robinson's nails joke have already caused a stir amongst concerned members, and the threat of the bear joke may cause previously neutral members to swing one way or the other.