Disturbing New Revelations
By Tim Betz
MURP President Ken Blakey was forced
At today's press conference.
today to deny rumors that he was nothing more that a puppet figure
secretly controlled by members of the "MURP shadow government"
"I am not, and never have been,
A
puppet on anyone's strings."
Accompanied by a man known only as 'Overt Ops' he fielded questions from
journalists in television and the print media, seeming jovial and
unconcerned about the seriousness of the allegations.
The President laughed off
allegations
that he was merely a puppet...
When asked about Overt Op's role in MURP politics, he responded by telling
the press that "while Overt Ops has nothing to do with MURP politically,
you may see him with me because we are really good friends"
"We're just good friends"
When asked to comment further on his statement, the President refused. He
also refused to make any comments about the recent shipment of a large
quantity of cigars to an address in nearby Evelyn St, or a number of
other matters.
"I don't know anything about this
semen
stained dress you keep mentioning..."
We will be keeping a watchful eye on this situation to see if anything
else develops...
In more alarming news
one of our informants working inside government headquarters was able to
smuggle to us these photos of Official Presidential Bah Man Kyle Lake,
working in what is rumored to be the Shadow Government's top secret
research facility (despite their claims that "There is no Bio-Weapons
Division")
Here he is seen developing a new, extremely dangerous and unstable method
of Bah'ing.
The official Presidental Bah man
tests
out a new 'Force factor 8 Bah' under development
This photograph of the testing facility after their first successful
attempt to use the new Bah frankly makes this Journalist fearful of
what may be to come...
The condition of the testing facility afterwards
has
raised grave concerns...