Boi Army Recruitment drive
by Ken Blakey
The boi army's mascot is the Meerkat, ever alert and watching.
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The Boi Army is always in need of new recruits. Each year another
proud group of graduates leaves the Army and heads off into the
world. Are you made of the Right Stuff to be in the Boi Army?
Appraise yourself next to these fine members!
Danny Mitchell, train engineer
- Do you have any comments on being in a Boi Army?
- Being in the Boi Army is good fun. We all work so hard for even the
slightest glimpse of Our Esteemed Mistresses' approval. Even her looking
at us sends waves of euphoria across our bodies. It can be frustrating at
times, but to even make eye contact with our Esteemed Mistress makes it
all worth it. Those who have spoken to Her are treated with great respect
among us, and to touch Her gives you eternal respect among us.
- What do you feel you got out of it?
- A young man gets a great sense of devotion out of working endlessly in
what to the normal man seem like futile attempts to gain the attentions of
Our Esteemed Mistress. Its character building - many of us have gone on to
senior yes-man positions or high public service offices, even political
careers.
- Any words of encourage ment for other young men thinking of joining
a Boi Army?
- Never, ever be disappointed by what seems to be an utter lack of interest
from Her - we all know that She adores our company, even if she rarely
acknowledges our devoted affections. Have faith and work hard and She will
notice you.
Tim Betz, photo journalist
- Why did you join the Boi Army?
- I joined for the breasts, but I stayed for the mints.
Kate Brown, schoolmistress
- What message do you have for all the young recruits?
- You guys should all get lives.
Josh Button, film critic
- Which platoon were you part of?
- ...I'm Sarah's little first year.
Sarah Johnson, bollard
- What is your impression of the Boi Army?
- Its just so cute!!!
Owen Dalton, bridge support
- Is competition fierce in the Boi Army?
- Grrr! I said the same thing and got in trouble. He just bugs me.
Ken Blakey, doorway avoider
- Some have accused you of taking adoration too far?
- Stalk is such a strong word, we in the boi army prefer,
"Covertly appreciate"